I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

by khristin ann Wednesday, October 26, 2005 at 10:25 PM

I'm having a bad week. I know it's only Wednesday, but I don't really want to know how the rest of the week is going to play out. I am in an ugly fight with my goddamn car. If I actually do ever pick it up again the first thing I am going to do is beat the shit out of it. As of right now, I have $50 to my name. I wonder what kind of car that can get me. I sat down too long today and injured my hip. I know it sounds pathetic, but it really hurts. My osteopathic dr and my physical therapist are trying to straighten out my spine. My spine curves to the left at the top, which is why it puts pressure on my pelvic bone on the right side. And by aligning my spine, my back supposedly won't hurt so much. It hurts real bad now. I wish they would stop touching it for awhile. I have to get critiqued in creative writing tomorrow. Normally I wouldn't care, but the story I wrote is basically taken right out of my life. I am all nervous because people I don't know are going to read it. Well, they are reading it as fiction, but still. I'm all nervous and stuff. I got a paper and an exam back today. I got A's on both. You would think I would be excited but I am not. I am so stressed out that I don't even care. My advisor says I have the GPA and the dedication to do anything I want when I graduate. Ha. I have no hours at work next week. I don't know why I even try.

by khristin ann Monday, October 17, 2005 at 7:23 PM

My mom is embarrased for me

So I just lived out my most embarrassing moment. We were discussing metaphysical poetry in my English class when I realized I had misplaced my handout. I stood up to go ask her if she had an extra copy of the handout when my bad ankle completely gave out. The class was sitting in a circle around the room, and there I am laying in the middle of the circle. I tried to stand up, but my ankle gave out again. Everyone just sat and stared at me. It was real embarrassing. And, she didn't have an extra handout to give me, so I had to share with the guy next to me. Towards the end of class, the professor was like, "Are you sure your ok, Kristin?" I felt real lame. Then I had to limp home.

by khristin ann Thursday, October 06, 2005 at 1:44 PM

I Think

The days are blurring together

Every day is like the one before,

only darker


I came out here to think

Yet my mind cannot concentrate


I have to struggle to find happiness

My happiness comes to me

as soon as I place the needle into my skin


I have lost myself

I have lost everything I had

I have lost my feelings,

my thoughts, my emotions


I came out here to think

Yet my mind has stopped functioning


I am nothing now

A lifeless body

with a hungry addiction

a desire for more


I came out here to think

Yet there is only one word running through my head –

Regret.


I wish I have never picked up the needle

I wish I was strong enough to ask for help

I wish I could stop

I wish it wasn’t too late

I wish I could turn my life around


I came out here to think

Yet what do I have to think about?


by khristin ann Saturday, October 01, 2005 at 1:24 AM

BOX step

This picture is from awhile ago, I just found it on my camera right now. I ate too many smores tonight. I was making a ring today when I realized my ring size is 5. Last time I was measured I was a 6 1/4. Just in case anyone wants to buy me some diamonds, I wear a size 5.

If you can take your eyes off us sexy ladies for a minute, I would like to point out our wall art.